A few weeks ago I was inspired to re-read the entire book of Job.  It seems that in the past few months I have lost more friendships than ever before. Some seemed to dissolve overtime, others ended on mutual but cordial terms, and some didn’t end so well at all. Although what I had lost was only but a small fraction of Job’s losses, still it was hard to wrap my mind around why God would not only allow me to be mistreated but the quantity of it. Even now I am continuing to find friends that have betrayed my trust and who actively wish me harm. So naturally the first thing that came to mind a few weeks ago was “What am I doing wrong?”, given the magnitude of the problem I had to be doing something wrong, right?

                As I was reading Job my empathy wore off and I gradually became annoyed by his “woe is me” attitude. Job was understandably upset, but we all know that God was not angry with Job. In fact He was very much pleased with Job, God bragged on him “Then the LORD said to Satan, ‘Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.’ “ Job 1:8.  But Job couldn’t see it that way, He was convinced God had left him, that the hardships he faced were the result of sins he had committed. God was still pleased with Job; ultimately God had only allowed those trials to enter Job’s life to strengthen him, not to harm him.

                Eventually I became reminded of my own feelings towards my situation. It’s almost second nature for us to assume that we are at fault when we find ourselves in several hardships. Like Job, I felt shame towards my situation although I had done nothing wrong. I had imagined that God was somehow displeased or frustrated with me, that I had committed some sin unknown to me.  I was forced to remind myself of the truth, the way that God really regards me. I was reminded of God’s grace and love. I was reminded that God places trials in my life to strengthen me and for growth, not to harm me. Strangely I began to feel special. Who was I that God would so carefully and tediously work to strengthen and pursue me?  Honored because He knew I was strong enough to overcome the trials and that I wouldn’t leave Him. Job was blessed even more after his loss, and I realized even in my trial this was true for me as well. The friends that I had lost were not really friends at all, they were liars, self-centered, and some even malicious. I realized that through those trials God had taught me what friendship really meant. The truth was that I wasn’t happy with any of the friendships I lost and God had helped end relationships I didn’t have the courage to end on my own. I still grieve the loss of those friendships but I am at peace knowing that God mindful of me. He's still protecting me.

“what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?” Psalms 8:4

"What is man that you make so much of him, that you give him so much attention” Job 7:17

“ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ ” Jeremiah 29:11

  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28