Sure I trust God but if I'm being honest then I'll have to admit that sometimes it's with exceptions. Because like many of us I have fears. I'm willing to trust God to spare me from experiencing my fears, not so much to allow me to experience them and guide me through. And to be honest I think my stubbornness played a huge role in getting me where I am. Not because He's punishing me, but because if I never experienced the hurt I wouldn't know that He could get me through it.
Once I went white water rafting, which can be dangerous in itself but even more so for someone who can't really swim. So I said a quick prayer asking God to keep me from falling out of my raft, because that was my biggest fear. Instead, one of the first waves we hit sent me flying out of my raft. Before I reached the surface of the water my first thought was "What are You doing?" . I had specifically asked God to spare me from this one thing and He did the opposite. But after I had experienced being jolted out my raft I stopped fearing it. I continued the trip with ease knowing that I could handle it and when trouble came ( we ended up getting stranded on the river at night!) I wasn't haunted by fear. I realized later that God had allowed my experience so I would overcome my fear in order to face the challenge that was ahead.
This has become a reoccurring theme in my life within the last year or so. I have faced some of my greatest fears and without those experiences I would have continued to be controlled by that fear. Now I know that in my greatest trials God is still able to comfort and heal me. I know now that there is a certain comfort and understanding that only comes through trials. I am only able to truly experience the power of God through my weakness. There is a level of refinement that only comes through fire. So hang in there, He's only trying to complete a work in you. Trust in Him, He knows what He's doing.
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. (James 1:2 MSG)
At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10 MSG)
I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The Lord is our God.'" (Zechariah 13:9 NIV)
-Paige A. Henry
Paige is a clinical therapist who works with adjudicated youth in Detroit, MI and a singer/songwriter. Check out her music at www.sydneyandpaige.com or follow her on twitter @paigeahenry
